We’ve had quite a busy month! And still plenty more to go in the month! We had a busy Mother’s Day weekend, complete with a day trip. We thought it would be a fun outing but it turned out to be a royal pain instead. We had our son’s yearly testing [he did really well]. We also have our yearly homeschool conference coming up later in the month as well. I’m really excited because I have a few ideas on things to add for next year and what I want to buy.
I suspect I’ve also been somewhat quiet because of other reasons. I doubt myself and what I post. I don’t want to get too personal but I also want to express how I feel. I’m raising my son in some ways very different than how I was raised. I went to public school. My parents were always very involved but they didn’t choose to homeschool until my youngest sister got to high school. They also raised three girls. I’ve got a very active little boy who thinks nothing like my sisters and I did. I grew up in the city. We live in a little country town. And while it’s different, I still hear my mom or dad come through in what I say.
I’ve also been dealing with two medical issues. First of all, I have arthritis. I’ve had it since I was twelve years old as I mentioned in a previous post. It’s being kept in check right now but I’m tired most of the time and high activity days can wreck me pretty badly for a day or two after the fact. I’ve missed a lot more church than I like between the arthritis and the side effects of some of the medicines I’m on.
Second, and I don’t believe I’ve talked about this before, is that we’re trying to conceive again. We’ve been trying for a while in fact [years] but I’m on medicine the last few months to try and help that along. That’s made the last few months something of an emotional roller coaster and one I’ve been reluctant to share and talk about. We’re trying to trust God, something that seems to come much easier to my husband than I. We feel like we’ve been led here but at the same time trying to trust his timing.
Speaking of emotional roller coasters… well they make it hard to write. My primary outlet of creativity is writing, so it calms me down, helps me work out problems, even if it is fictional characters I’m writing about. Not being able to write makes me more wound up and it’s a nasty cycle that I occasionally will fall into. Which is probably why this post is going to come across as disjointed and a little scattered.
In breaking the cycle, I have to start somewhere and this is it 🙂 I also have to stop trying to be perfect in what I do, because I’m not and never will be. I had a reminder today that my son has those same tendencies… that if he can’t do something perfectly the first time, he doesn’t want to do it. I have to overcome that and I have to try to just be me, not some idealized perfect version who doesn’t really exist.
Hope you enjoyed 🙂