Today is National Women’s Day or something. I’m apparently supposed to take a holiday. Well, I celebrated it. I went shopping at Walmart, took my 8 year old son to lunch [a Wednesday tradition], did homeschool with him, did laundry and dishes and a little general cleaning and all while NOT wearing red.
I also had another woman be rude to me.
Shocker, I know – today of all days we’re supposed to be supportive of others choices and all. And it wasn’t even over today.
I have two twitter accounts – one for gaming and one personal [tweetdeck is the best!]. I use the gaming one to socialize using my gaming pseudonym with people who enjoy gaming as well. I refer to them at home as liberal twitter [the predominantly gaming one] and conservative twitter [my personal one]. Both have been buzzing today about Day Without a Woman, naturally. One supports it and the other doesn’t. Again, shocker.
So I was excited to see a topic in gaming that I’m really excited about come up on my liberal feed. I figured it would be fun to get to share a common interest and since they were having trouble, I offered some advice.
Oh that was a mistake. I bet you can guess where this is going.
A mistake that my hubby has said every man makes. Someone has a problem and men will go into “fix it” mode and try to help. I’ve apparently been around him too much or something 😛 because I offered some advice and commiseration hoping it would lead to a conversation of a shared interest.
They took that as me calling them an idiot and went into full on rant mode.
I felt bad and then what my hubby likes to say came flooding back to me. “It’s words on a screen – boo hoo.” Doesn’t make it all better but as much as I’d like to believe gamers have a community, most of it is superficial. There are friendships formed of course. A very few gaming friends have transitioned into real life friends that I’ve actually met. But it takes years to get there and that’s never happened with a twitter only friend either. Basically, put it in perspective. Someone I don’t know said something mean. Oh yeah, that does help.
I didn’t immediately unfollow them because I don’t like to act out of emotion. I did apologize and did end up unfollowing them because honestly, I don’t want to have to tiptoe on eggshells on my timeline. I can’t keep up with the people I follow as is and I don’t spend much time on there anyway and if I offend them so much by offering suggestions, I suspect it’s better for us both.
As for the day, I think there’s a lot better ways to get your point across than to strike. I mean to demonstrate your impact, your answer is to not show up and lose your voice in the situation? Not even lose your voice, you’re just giving it away! I mean I have this blog because I’m trying to find my voice and the courage to say what I think about more topics than I usually would discuss in public. I sure don’t want to give that away!
I don’t always feel appreciated as a wife and mother but when I have those days, I’m woman enough to tell my husband how I’m feeling and often it’s simply emotion or we fell into one of those patterns when life happens. And you know what? Men have those days too. This is a people thing, not solely a woman one.
Well support a woman and her business, they say. One super high day of support isn’t going to be helpful if you never shop there again. It would be far better to spend a smaller amount each month supporting something than to do one lump sum. It would help the business budget and save up and plan.
Also, maybe let’s try to treat others with respect every day, not just because it’s a holiday or a celebration or a strike. I always try to be nice to the people who serve us and wait on us. I mean we’ve heard countless stories about how a smile at the right time has saved someone’s life or a nice word has changed someone’s day. That’s the kind of change you can be.